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September 20, 2007


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I am having many days like that myself and yesterday was a bad one for me too, between my husband and my teenage son (who is not my husband's biological son). Both blame each other for everything, are polar opposites and I am constantly trying to gain peace at all costs, running interference for fear of things escalating if left to their own devices. I am like gumby, stretched on both sides by two people I deeply love.

Yesterday, after receiving an email for hubby saying we needed to talk and he was in a dark place, my body just frazzled. Heart beating, headache immediately at the back of my neck, body so tense I was sure I would break in half. I thought to myself, I am going to end up with a stroke if this does not let up. I can take no more of this. I cried out to the Lord, I begged Him to help me, to give me peace. He did. I was still nervous, my stomach queasy all day, but the panic abated, the calmness and strength descended.

Later, as both individually blamed the other for my stress I told them both: Make no mistake, you BOTH are going to kill me if this doesn't stop. Luckily we worked things through (for the time being) and I was able to sleep (an occasional thing these days). I awoke and went to Proverbs this morning where I thanked God for his answer to my plea yesterday and reached for my Redeemer to get me through this challenging time of extreme stress.

I pray the same for you, that peace and strength will descend upon us both, and repair the frayed ends of our lives which threaten to destroy us....



God's way to victory is unlike anything else we've experienced. I, at least, am so accustomed to defeat that I can't conceive of anything else. That doesn't upset God. The process of getting from here to there is stressful. I wonder if it could be less stressful, less engendering of days when the Snark-O-Meter (TM) is pinned. So far I've not found this happy state.

I have, however, found that if I let God have his way, when the victory comes it really is victory. Victory by my terms just suppresses the opposition, and it breaks out again some other time. Steps with God may be tiny but they're forever. It's quite a fascinating process from an engineering standpoint. I wish it were less painful.

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