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January 11, 2007

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sistasmiff

Great post. Thank you for that. I needed that this morning.

Jeffrey

What if there was absolutely nothing you could do to "please God"? What if, by very nature, he is constantly and always pleased with you? You are, after all, his princess and his love. What do you suppose a life lived in the awareness of God's state of perfect satisfaction might look like? What could we accomplish and achieve, through the life and love of Christ within us, if we worried not about "pleasing" him, but rather living in and through his pleasure and his Love?

Larry

I'll echo, and I hope, reinforce, Jeffrey's comment.

What if God were easy to please? What if, instead of no matter how well you did something he wanted more, you had confidence that no matter how badly you screwed things up that your Father's love would be unchanged?

I think this is how God really looks at us. If it were otherwise I would have no hope.

Lu

Yeah, I know God is already pleased with me. At least that's what He keeps telling me, when I listen. Its not the getting of God's approval I was talking about as much as its about my struggle with my own desire to seek the approval of others, rather than resting in the approval I already have from God (what I would call "seeking to please Him", for lack of a better analogy...) Does that make sense?

Larry

Yes... it makes sense.

I overlooked that interpretation because I gave up on pleasing people long ago. No one was ever happy. This sounds bad, and in some ways is, but it also left me free to do what I saw fit. If no one will ever be pleased with soemthing I do, I might as well do the thing that makes my life better.

Of course, this makes it hard to cooperate with others. I'm more likely to just say "You folks aren't going the way I see as best, so I'll just make my own way."

Jeffrey

hmm, i'm having trouble seeing how a struggle with a performance-based acceptance paradigm can be synonymously phrased "seeking to please Him [God]"...

nevertheless, i feel your pain. I spent a great majority of my life seeking the approval of people, specifically, my dad. I do still find some of those old tendencies attempting to resurface, from time to time.

Kat

Oh, sweetie. I know the struggle you're going through and feel your pain. I have a quesiton for you: if you don't please yourself with your actions, how can you expect others to be pleased with you? If you are running around trying to get others to approve of who you are and what you're doing, where do that leave you for finding peace in yourself and in God?

Heaven knows that you and I disagree on many things, but that doesn't mean I don't love you and hold you dear to my heart and thoughts every day. And if you and I can agree to disagree - even when we talk about the topics that are at the root of those disagreements - and still love each other, why don't you do the same with the other people in your life?

I know you're going to say that sometimes family steps over the boundaries we try to set up to give ourselves some breathing room and space to be ourselves, instead of extensions of them, but if you truly are a self-sufficient as you say (and I believe), then you'll push them back to a comfortable distance; telling them you love them, but they can't live your life for you, just as you can't live their lives for them.

I don't think you're seeking approval from your father (or Father) so much as seeking approval within yourself to be who you really are. You keep looking back at what you were, what you wanted to be by this time in your life and seeing "failure" because you're not, what?, married, have a family, a great career that brings you hundreds of accolades, etc. I say you're an amazing human being with a huge capacity to love. You just need to open yourself to the love that comes your way, from friends, family and that one fantastic lifelove that's just waiting for you to see him standing with open arms and open heart.

So, a directive from your crazy friend on the left coast, stop getting in your own way. You are worthy of every drop (and flood) of love that comes your way. No one can take that away from you. No one. God loves you. I love you. These friends here love you. And I know deep in your heart, you love yourself. Let it out and this unease and worry will disappear.

Lu

Kat,

This is why you are one of my best friends in the whole world. Because you ARE one of the best friends anyone could have.

Thank you.

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