A Voice of Hope

So This is How Liberty Dies

With cheers and thunderous applause. (Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith)

At 1:21 p.m., applause and cheers echoed through the House chamber as the number of “aye” votes crossed the threshold needed for passage with just seconds remaining in the official 15-minute voting period. -- NYTimes.com Oct 3, 2008

Atmosphere, Ethos, and Communing with God

My friend Marti left a very thought-provoking comment on my previous post about Creative Chaos or Quiet Reverence that really sparked some memories. I started to share these with her in the comment section, but decided they deserve a post of their own.

First, let me share with you what Marti wrote:

My church meets in an old warehouse, or anyway, the anchor to a defunct shopping center. It was ugly. The old-timers kind of liked that, as it harkened back to the day when they moved from one school to another... they didn't want things too nice. Nobody EVER got married there. After we paid off the mortgage, fixed the leakin' roof, etc, God provided a major donor who gave a $1 million anonymous gift with no strings attached. The mission committee got a tithe of it, which was cool, and a lot of other good stuff happened too. Sadly, giving dropped; this was about five years ago and we've yet to recover. However, somewhere in there the elders decided to use part of 'the big taco' (as the $1 million was affectionately called) to build a new sanctuary inside out building. It feels like a living room. It has niches for prayer. It has pretty, ivory-colored walls. I was glad we didn't spend all our money on this, but it helps to have a comfortable, attractive environment. It makes a difference. So does our new worship leader, and particularly, his adorable wife with the great voice who leads our singing most Sunday mornings. We sound great with her leading us. And she can do new stuff, old stuff, in-between stuff just as well. I'm glad God gives us so many ways to worship.

As I read her comment, especially when she began describing her church's current set up,  I was reminded of the last six or so months of our old church plant here in Nashville (before it was decided the plant would merge with an already established Mosaic in town). We revamped it after a jolting shift in our leadership, and part of the revamp was to completely change our approach to our "service" time. Instead of coming at it from a typical worship service mind-set, formatting it with music and then teaching, we instead approached it as if it were a giant Life Group (small group, or cell group; some now call them Community Groups). This one change in focus changed the whole dynamic and feel of our times together, and opened the door for God to dwell among and within us at an ever deepening level. (please note this post continues after the jump -- see below)

Creative Chaos versus Quiet Reverence

Los has this series he does on Thursdays called Creative Chaos, where he talks a little about what his church (Buckhead, in the ATL; photo copyright Buckhead Church) does in their worship times, or planning times, etc. Then he invites others to post about what creative chaos is happening in their worlds and also provides a way they can link their posts to his on his blog. It's really cool to read because you get a feel for all the creative madness going on out there in Worship Leader Land. I highly recommend it, even if you're not a leader.

Today he posted a kickin' video that you just gotta watch. But do yourself a favor, put your headphones on and crank the sound. It. Is. Awesome!!

Aside from the sound, the visual overload of the video, both from the screens and the constantly shifting camera angles, took me on a little ride. It was good, but I realized something the first time I watched. While I'd love to participate in something like that for a worship concert -- where it's just singing and music and some prayer (accompanied by music); just worship -- I'm not sure I'd want to "do church" like that every week.

I'm realizing more and more that I long for some of the old -- dare I say it? -- traditions; the quiet reverence, the sacraments, the sort-of high church feel. I'd probably tire of it after a bit; I don't think I'm by nature a quiet, calm, traditional worshiper. But for some reason, right now my soul craves that. I crave a chance to sit silently in a sanctuary, get on my knees with others, and take communion in community in the midst of such a holy-feeling place. I will probably shock some with this statement, but sometimes meeting in a movie theatre does, for me, take some of the awe and reverence from the worship experience. If I weren't such an aesthetic person perhaps that wouldn't be so, but I am. So I struggle with the environments I find myself in during worship services, and sometimes they just don't fit with what my spirit is craving.

What about you? What kind of worship services do you like? Is aesthetics, your surroundings, important to you, or doe it not effect you?

He Gets It

Kevin Bussey gets it. He gets what it means to have boundaries, and to live with integrity. He gets what it means to be a true servant-follower of Jesus. Here's a snippet of what he recently wrote:

Unfortunately people gauge their spiritual walk with Jesus based on a checklist of all that they have done for Him. But Jesus doesn’t want us to “do” because He has already “DONE” the work when He died on a cross for our sins.

Does this mean we don’t do anything? No. We should serve God because we want to and out of giftedness....

...I have witnessed people begging and guilting (I know it is not a word) into serving in a position just to get it filled. What ends up happening is the person who fills the position hates it and can’t perform because they aren’t serving out of their giftedness or they just give up. The people they are ministering to aren’t blessed either. I’m amused when someone tells me that God told them I should do this or that. I always say, “well He hasn’t told me.” The better way to say it is I would like you to pray about [this]. That allows the person to say yes or no.

Sometimes the best word in ministry is:

• here it comes…
• it is…
• are you ready…

NO!

When was the last time you served out of the gratitude in your heart and a true desire to do the thing you are doing? Or have you been spending most of your ministry -- perhaps even most of your life -- saying "yes" with your mouth while screaming "NO!!" in your heart?

This strange new thing you're looking at is called Integrity. It's also called Boundaries, and being TrueFaced. And it will save your Life.

True Religion

Every once in a while I check out what's happening at SBC Outpost. Today I found this post about Bobbye Rankin that is very much worth a moment of your time.

Bobbye is the wife of Dr. Jerry Rankin, president of the IMB. Both of these godly people had a powerful impact on my life and ministry from the time I got to the International Learning Center for orientation on. I listened intently their stories of struggle and pain during their first term overseas, and they gave me comfort, especially once I was in the middle of my own hellish "first term." Bobbye led a women's conference our region held about three months after I arrived and God used her words to strengthen my spirit and encourage my soul. As I walked through the following years of agony and darkness, I kept hearing Bobbye's words of hope ring in my ears. Knowing that she had survived life-threatening illness, deaths of loved ones, loneliness, fear, and incredible obstacles to their ministry, all within their first few years on the field gave me hope and determination that I could and would make it through my own struggles. If she could do I it I could do it.

She probably doesn't remember me at all -- nor would Dr. Rankin remember me either. But I remember them. I remember their graciousness, their kindness and generosity of time and energy; their treatment of every one of us missionaries as one of their own  children or close friends. I never had any doubt about Dr. Rankin's or Bobbye's care and concern for me and my ministry on the field.

I will forever love Bobbye Rankin for her amazing and inspiring servant leadership to all the women serving overseas. This post, written by her son, gives you a glimpse into the woman whose life, ministry and servanthood helped me hang on to God in my darkest times, and it is so worth the time to read. Please go and learn about a woman who helped me become who I am today, and who I am becoming for tomorrow.

Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father, is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption from the godless world. -- James 1:27 The Message

The Most Important vs. The Not-So-Important

Where do we draw the line on publicly memorializing the dead, or whom do we memorialize? How do we choose who's honored and who's not?

My friends KatRose and Marti have brought up some very solid, valid points in their comments about public grieving. I thought to address them in the comment section, but felt they deserve a post of their own.

KatRose hits the core of what I've been thinking when she says,

I'm not suggesting we shouldn't feel for the people directly and indirectly involved. But is it justified to have a national moment of silence for the dead when the vast majority of us have never been to VT, met a single student or even were aware of the college until this happened? I feel badly for the families and friends of the dead. I feel awful that the school has to deal with the emotional, mental and financial aftermath of this gunman's handiwork. But is flying flags at half-mast (which was happening all over Vegas and LA this week), something that should be done for a localized event?

I have to say I heartily agree. I feel so sad for all involved too. But what was the deal with President Bush ordering flags to be at half staff all week? At first I thought it was just my company, because one of our own had a child wounded in the shooting (and that shows you how much I notice flags outside my own work campus). I thought it was a kind gesture, even though that co-employee lives in Virginia. However, on Friday I noticed the flag at the Post Office also flying at half staff. Shouldn't that be reserved for dignitaries, veterans, soldiers and true heroes?

I don't mean to make light of the students who died or were wounded, but I've yet to hear any stories of true heroism among them. Most just didn't have the time to react, or were just trying desperately to escape. What's happening in Iraq and Afghanistan every single day, that's heroism. Soldiers going into dangerous neighborhoods in order to root out the enemy and restore peace, driving down dangerous roads littered with road-side bombs in order to provide a fighting chance for those who really desire democracy, and crawling into burning vehicles, risking their very lives to save the life of just one fallen comrade. The VT shootings are tragic, yes, but they are not so tragic nor heroic to warrant our national symbol lowered to the mourning position. if we're going to do it for them, then why not all the other school violence? Domestic violence every day? Every officer killed in the line of duty every day? Do you see what I mean? Lowering our national flag is supposed to mark a significant national loss, not individual tragedies. 

Indeed, even soldiers are wondering what's going on. One soldier took the time to write an opinion piece questioning why Bush would order the flags lowered for students of what now looks for all the world like a random act of violence done by a very sick individual, but states will not lower it for the soldiers from their state who die protecting our rights to freedom (and flag lowering) every single day. What gives?

Marti brings up another issue that's even closer to my heart: people who are hurting, and our international mission/purpose as a Community of followers of Jesus.

...at a church retreat this weekend they had us read out the names of the kids who died. Thirty-some senseless deaths... but are they more tragic than others? I felt the same twinge I'd felt at the office, trying to decide if we needed to pray about the Virginia situation, instead, when I had prepared stuff for us to pray about regarding the significant religious persecution going on in Ethiopia and Nigeria; more believers have been martyred in both places recently. (emphasis mine)

A church has daily updates on the kid with cancer while nobody notices the old woman wasting away in depression. Or worse, bitterness. Not so cuddly.

So: what gets attention, what does not, is not fair, is not even.

What is it that causes us to be more moved by students killed in a random act of violence than the thousands killed purposely and specifically because of their religious beliefs? The former is just tragic, while the latter is an abomination that ought to stir some semblance of righteous anger within us. Hopefully enough to do something.

Church, what is it about us/in us that we  are more apt to pray for a boy with cancer than search for, pray for and walk beside the bitter woman struggling with depression? Why are we more apt to pray for people hurting in another state than we are for our own persecuted brothers and sisters in another country?

What are we reminding ourselves of when we "read out the names of the kids who died"? What purpose does that serve, really? Yeah, okay, God can use anything to bring our attention back to Himself. But It seems to me all we're doing with that is reminding ourselves of our own mortality, rather than turning our attention toward God. Shouldn't we, instead, be reminding ourselves of our responsibilities before God to the world? Look, I'm not talking about America here. At least not in the America The Nation sense. I'm talking about followers of Christ who by living here in America have been given incredible blessings from God when He determined this time and this place in history for us to be born.

"From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us."  Acts 17:26-27 (emphasis mine)

We, the community of followers of Jesus in the US, have been chosen and determined by God to be Americans at this very time. Appointed by God, ya'll! That's huge! Do you get it? He. Chose. Us. Why? Beats the hell outa me. We ain't nothing special. But here we are. And with great privilege and blessing comes great responsibility.

We have responsibility to speak out about the suffering of our brothers and sisters around the world, to remind each other daily of our blessings and of their need, to do something about it and to pray fervently and continuously for them. It may sound like a piddly, weak-hearted thing, but sometimes the greatest gift you could give someone is your fervent continual prayers. I cannot explain to you how it works - and this post is not the place to try - but I know from experience that prayer really does unleash God's healing redeeming saving power on those who are the focus of your prayer.

We don't need to remind each other of our own mortality. That is made far too obvious to all of us in the everyday minutia of our lives. It is so easy for me to get so sucked into picking lint out of my own navel! I don't need encouragement from my spiritual Family to do more of that. What I do need is continual reminders that there is life outside Lu's Little World. I need to step into a moment like the one Marti led and hear about my fellow followers of Jesus who are dying because of their unwavering commitment to Him.

And lets step out of religiosity for a moment... I need to be reminded there are children dying every day in Sudan, running for their very lives and praying for just one night of peaceful uninterrupted sleep. There are whole families dying from lack of food and potable water in Ethiopia and Somalia, ethnic groups persecuted and oppressed in China, parents fearing for their lives and the lives of their children in war-ravaged Iraq, innocent people dying in suicide bombings all over the world, women bought sold and horribly abused as sex slaves in Thailand, survivors of the tsunami still struggling to survive in Indonesia, families still living in squaller in New Orleans nearly two years after Katrina... The list goes on and on. I need to be reminded of these things. I need someone to tell me to get my head out of my ass and pay attention to the world, otherwise I will spend the rest of my life contemplating my own colon. And let me tell you, that is not a beautiful, life-affirming, God-honoring thing.

It's part of the job of Leadership to steer us, focus us, on the Most Important and teach us by example and prodding to let go of the Not So Important. When someone is hurting, to them that is Most Important, and often they feel it needs to be most important to everyone. Indeed, to others around them it rightly ought to be. But as a whole community, whether we speak of our national community or our spiritual community, that individual hurt may not be The Most Important. We need leaders who can discern what is Most Important and can gently but firmly, with compassion for the individual hurts, keep us focused on that. Bush used to be that kind of leader. I think he slipped up here.

But Marti --- well in you, my friend and once-leader, I have such great faith and confidence. You are a discerning and wise leader. Grief may cloud your personal vision right now, but God guides you even when you aren't aware. I have no doubt you were able to determine His desire for that moment, and that God honored your willingness to wrestle with the question of what is Most Important.

Defaming in the name of Christ?

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. -- Romans 15:5-6

I came across a blog today that grieves and saddens me. I've seen its kind before. Someone, or a group of someones, hurt by the actions of a brother or sister in Christ, or a church staff, or a group within the church, puts up a blog to air their grievances and give others a chance to do the same in the comments section.  Once or twice, these become a place where healing is the goal and bitterness does not go unchecked. But more often than not, these blogs end up as nothing more than a place of condemnation for the pastor or staff member at fault for the pain.  It becomes a chance for anyone hurt by that person or group of people to defame them under the pretense of "telling their story." Sadly, the blog I found this morning is the latter kind.

I know the pain of emotional and spiritual injury at the hands of another, especially injury caused by a friend. Its sting carries venom powerful and deadly. Only the compassionate, gracious, all-consuming love of God can heal that kind of wound and restore health to the soul.  Even then it leaves a scar.

Emotional/spiritual injury by a pastor can be worse. A friend of mine says that pastors are also a "dad" to their church.  It's not a role they want, or seek. Nor is it a role we consciously put upon them. Its just that we all naturally end up looking to our pastor to fill a father-like role in our lives; leading, guiding, counseling, loving, appreciating, paying attention to us, knowing us. We want to be known by our pastors, and recognized as valuable, valued and worthy of love. All the things we want from our fathers. When a pastor doesn't live up to that expectation, unconscious or not, especially in a time of need, it feels like the worst kind of betrayal, that of a parent.  If we're already suffering from major "daddy issues", and most of us are, that betrayal can cut to the heart of who we are and devastate us.

When the injury is at the hands of a friend who's also our pastor, the pain is unimaginable. This is what I found this morning.  What grieves me most about it is that it involves people I know, respect, and love deeply.  I discovered it because I keep getting multiple hits on this blog from people Googling the blog author's name and finding it here, in a post from two years ago.  As I read the ensuing comments, the vitriolic tone of many pierced my heart to its core. I knew there had been hurt, I lived through the experiences they described, but it didn't occur to me that some six to ten years later people would still be carrying around such rancor over it all.

Forgiveness is the hardest thing on earth to do. Our souls long for retribution, for repayment for all the pain we've had to endure.  I know. I'm the worst when it comes to forgiving. God has had to walk with me through each and every injury, sometimes carrying me, in order for my heart to finally let go and forgive.

It's important to remember that forgiveness is a process. It's a choice you make. And make. And make again. Until the hurt and anger lessens, your heart stops making an automatic left turn into dark places, and your thoughts stop running down avenues of revenge. It doesn't happen overnight. And it often doesn't even happen within a month.  Depending on the level of pain inflicted and the measure of trust that had been placed in the person who hurt you, it could be years before forgiveness truly flourishes.

Matthew 18 spells out the steps Jesus expects us to take to resolve things when we are injured, the last step being to treat the offending brother as if he were an unbeliever if he refuses to listen to even the church's rebuke. How many of us actually go through with these steps? How many times to we just give up and just walk away from the relationship when the hurt and anger grows too big for us to handle? I know I'm guilty. Its just easier to tell ourselves, and anyone else who'll listen, how horrible the other person was and how grievously they wronged us, rather than to screw our courage to the sticking place, and go face-to-face with the other person for as long as it takes us to understand their side of the story. No, it's easier to just cling to our own side and ignore the rest; to never confront the person in the presence of fair-minded witnesses, if we even confront them at all.

But what Matthew 18 never tells us to do is to air our grievances before the world; in the town square, or the main boulevard, or even in a city park.  Yet here we are, blogs all over the virtual town square/boulevard known as the Internets, airing grievances of brother-in-Christ against brother-in-Christ. Defaming our brothers and sister in the name of Christ and claiming a Matthew 18 mandate to do so.

Yikes!  No wonder so many reject the very idea of becoming a follower of Jesus. We eat our own.

"To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." C.S. Lewis 

Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry—but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life...  Make a clean break with all cutting, backbiting, profane talk. Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you. -- Eph 3:26-27,31-32

Disciple Generation

Marty Duren brought an intriguing article, and book, to my attention in his post today.

The book, "Righteous: Dispatches from the Evangelical Youth Movement" is written by Lauren Sandler, a self-proclaimed Jewish athiest, who immersed herself in in the Evangelical Youth Movement as a journalist in order to better understand and report on this new "grassroots movement" as she calls it.

The Washington Post.com recently published an on-line chat with Lauren regarding her book, research and her subsequent opinions on the latest movement in Christianity. Marty brought all this to our attention in his latest post and I got so caught up in what I read that I wanted to post my many thoughts here, rather than co-opt Marty's blog in the comment section. :)

Go read the article, if you haven't already, then come back and let me tell you what I think -- because  its all about me, you know. :) And then afterward, tell you what you think.

I think its an amazing testament to the youth/young adults in this movement that she calls it the "Disciple Generation". I think it shows that they (we?) are finally getting it. That we are called to be disciples of Jesus and to make disciples of everyone in our lives. That's disciples, not converts. Did you hear me on that?

As I said in my comment on Marty's blog:

[We have a] “conversion” culture in the Church.

I know that for as long as I can remember (I grew up in church, my dad was a SBC chaplain in the Army and later a minister in SBC churches), I was taught that I would be known by my “fruit” and that fruit was who I brought with me into heaven. In other words, how effective I was as a Christian in my world would be reflected by how many people I converted in my life.

I now believe that is a lie straight from hell — but spoken and perpetuated by well-meaning but misguided Christians. Satan wants to keep us “frustrated” with those God placed in our lives to LOVE and disciple because they aren’t “converting”, he wants us to be so frustrated because they aren’t becoming followers of Jesus. Why? Because as long as we see their conversion as tied to our effectiveness as Christians, we will be more focused on ourselves (and our perceived maturity/effectiveness in Christ) than on THEM. We will not really love them, just love them; just for the joy of loving another human being. But rather, we will see them as a means to proving our own "Christian-ness". —Does that make sense?

[As] Amy and others have said, God didn’t call us to “convert” the world. Jesus never said we’d be known by how many people joined our church. He said we’d be known by our LOVE.

I think we’ve gotten far too wrapped up in “bringing people to Jesus” and have forgotten that our mandate from Jesus was actually to bring Him to the people. (”Go…” not ‘bring them to me’ “…and make disciples…” not converts).

I think that’s what Lauren Sandler experienced in her time immersed in the Disciple Generation. She says in this chat, “I found it remarkable — though perhaps I shouldn’t have, since it is the duty of every Evangelical to spread the faith — that almost every single person I approached opened their hearts, their lives, and often their homes, to me with incredible generosity.”

What she experienced was God’s love, poured out through Jesus’ followers. That she came out of it without committing her life to Jesus and becoming His follower says much more about her heart than it does about the people she met. Jesus’ parable about the seed/soil says nothing about the seed and everything about the soil. Our job is to sow the seeds of love and the gospel everywhere we go. No where does Jesus say we are responsible for any soil other than our own.

What Lauren describes as her experience while immersed in this movement is what being a disciple and making disciples looks like. Making disciples isn't the same as making converts. The former is all about influence. The latter is all about power.

To me, her label of this movement shows that, for the most part, these young ones understand so much better than we did that it isn't about power and control, but about influence and servanthood.

And I have to say this was also my assessment when I attended ILC (International Learning Center of the International Mission Board) back in 2002. It was the Journeyman/women and ISCers in their early to mid-20s who were grabbing up the Frontier assignments with people groups in the farthest reaches of the world faster than the IMB could create them. These were young men and women who were so passionately in love with Jesus that it was worth all the sacrifice and hard, hard work it takes to spread the Gospel to the ends of the earth, and they weren't afraid to risk everything in order that even one person might get the chance to meet Jesus themselves, to experience God's love and become a follower of Jesus. I am so impressed with this generation!

However, there are some things that concern me. Things I see in the Church which cause me growing concern, especially since it seems we are passing it along to the next generation.

I worked for a brief time with an arm of the SBC which is focused on furthering SBC interests in the political realm. I hated it. I hated the idea of mixing politics and "religion". I hated the idea of SBC money going to political causes. Part of the reason is because I know there are Southern Baptists out there who do not support the agenda pushed by this arm of their denomination. That, to me, is just as heinous as using union funds to support political agendas of an elite few in control. It disregards the will of the whole, for the desires of a few. You just don't do that with an organization. Its the union members hard-earned dollars that should only be spent on things the majority feels is the best use of their money.

The same applies to the SBC, in my opinion. We have no business in the world of politics. We need to stay out of it as a denomination and let individuals focus on the issues most important to them as individuals. This is a problem I have with religion in politics in general.

In specific, however, I understand that we all bring our values and convictions into the voting booth and into our own campaigning, be it in the public arena or in the private campaigning we do in our conversations and debates with friends, co-workers and brothers and sisters in Christ. I have no problem with a person who is a Christian forming a lobby group of some kind to push for/against an issue that is of utmost importance to them.

But I have a huge problem with organizations that label themselves Christian and call their stance the "Christian" stance. It sets up the unavoidable impression (sometimes blatantly stated) that any other stance is decidedly UN-Christian.

That's wrong.  Even when it comes to -- hang on to your hats and glasses! -- abortion, gay marriage and evolution vs. creationism taught in public schools. Who are we to tell other brothers and sisters in Christ how to vote, who to vote for, what to vote for and what to believe??? Who are we to judge them UNChristian when they don't agree with us?? Nuh-uh, no. That's wrong. We have no right to do so.

Lauren says in her on-line chat:

"In my reporting, I found that most people I spoke to would like to replace public schools with Christian schools, our government with a Christian government--the entire secular culture with a Christian culture. Not to seem overly alarmist here -- though I think it's important to sound an alarm these days -- I did not write that sentence [of Christian conservatives as an army that 'aims to destroy everything that it is not'] as a metaphor. I meant it literally. If I had met people who are content to live as Christians in a secular culture, without needing to change and shape institutions and individuals, I would not see it this way. But, simply, that's what I found."

And earlier on she says,

There is almost no awareness amongst this group -- which I call the Disciple Generation -- that Evangelical liberals exist.

She also said,

"The politics of this Christain movement are of a very different stripe, and distinctly aligned--against gay marriage, abortion, and evolution in public schools. As long as a candidate is unflappable on those few issues, many people I've met have told me they need to look no further into a platform or voting record. They would tell you their politics and religion are one and the same--that there is no politics and there is no religion, there's only faith."

Again, I am convinced that our faith, our relationship with Jesus, informs our politics. But I do not see the two "as one and the same." This, to me, is a symptom of the confusion the "religious right" and the Jerry Falwells of our time have created in the church. To not even be aware that someone could be Christian, be a follower of Christ and a liberal, says to me that there is a huge disconnect somewhere; and it says that we must all fit a cookie-cutter definition of Christianity or find ourselves discarded and marginalized by our own brothers and sisters in Christ. It all makes me sick to my soul. It is not at all how I see Jesus living His life. He was not concerned with the politics of His day; He was completely wrapped up in the people.

Don't get me wrong. I do believe that God desires us to take a stand against the things in society which we find immoral and repugnant. Slavery, for example. Thank God for those who had the courage and tenacity to stand up in the public arena against it.

Yet do you also remember how many used the Bible and Jesus as their defense OF slavery?

This is the problem with using Jesus as a political weapon, rather than a social healing balm. And this is what I see in our culture of "conservative Christianity" today.  Jesus has become a political weapon rather than the Redeeming Grace of the soul.

I understand the zeal to have a "Christian government" "Christian schools" and a "Christian culture", in that we desire to bring righteousness into every aspect of our lives, especially those areas that we deem most important, like education and our nation's governing bodies. However, I must agree with Lauren Sandler that the drive to replace the current systems with Christianized ones is very alarming. Because it is misdirected zeal. This was never Jesus' mandate to His Church. Jesus never told us to go out and Christianize our world. Does that mean we are not to have an impact, or make a difference in our world? May it never be!

However, it needs to be said, and said and said again, that making an impact on our world and "Christianizing" it are two vastly different things. And I think we bring great harm to the Church and to Jesus' name when we fight to do the latter rather than the former.

I think that this can be seen in how Jesus is now viewed by unbelievers, as well as the general reputation Christianity now has in America. And perhaps even throughout the world because of America (though not all of that is the fault of the American church).  So often we Christians are viewed by our society as "idiots," as one questioner/commenter on the chat from Eastern Market Washington, DC called us, or as those "crazy Christians" (to borrow a sketch title from "Studio 60..."). Could it possibly be because we take positions, politically, that tell the world we would rather force our religion on them than meet them where they're at, accept them and love them for who they are right now? Is that really who Jesus is? Is that really what we want them to believe following Jesus is truly about, forcing our beliefs on an unbelieving world?

Why are we so hell-bent (if you'll forgive the metaphor) on denying nonbelievers the rights that legal marriage would bring -- things like spousal health care coverage, next of kin notices, etc? Come on, do we really believe that this will eliminate homosexuality in America? Do we really think that by declaring marriage to be only between a man and a woman that we will eliminate same-sex unions, and perhaps bring all who struggle with homosexuality to Jesus? Come on, let's be real. It does nothing more than create another wall, another barrier for the Gospel; another barrier that keeps the Gospel from being heard by a significant group of people.

Forcing nonbelievers to live like they were believers may seem "morally righteous" but, in truth, it's cruel. They have neither the understanding nor the power of the Holy Spirit with which to overcome the enemy and live in freedom under the standards God sets for us, His followers. God never forces nonbelievers to live by the same standards as His people. Rather, He calls His people to live by standards that would cause the world around them to stand up and take notice, in order that HE might have the glory and honor when His people are able to point to Him as the source of the ability to live by such freedom, grace, hope and love.

I am convinced that we can still lovingly address the reality that homosexuality is a sin while at the same time not barring homosexual marriage in our society. No, its not perfect. No, same-sex marriage is not God's best. But how in the world can we expect the world to live as God commands us to live when we cannot even live that way without the power of Jesus?? When are we going to wake up and realize America is not a nation of Christ-followers. We are not a Christian nation. We are Christianized; and with a brand of Christianity that is more cultural than Biblical.

My heart breaks that we are passing along our syncretized Christianity to our youth. They have such an opportunity to break free of our chains and run free in the path of God's commands (Palm 119:32) rather than sludge through our cultural Christianity.

In all other ways, this generation has everything going for it; as Lauren says, "many of the members of this Disciple Generation I met are extremely articulate, thoughtful, creative -- they are quite astute, I believe in many of their criticisms of the secular world as empty, consumerist, and purposeless." I would say a loud, "that's right!" to her declaration.

Say Goodnight, Gracie

Life through me a curve Tuesday night. But I still managed to hit the ball. Whether it's a base hit, double, triple or even home run is yet to be determined. But for now I'm just running like heck for home plate.

How's that for a baseball metaphor?

My car's engine suddenly developed a very baaaad sounding noise as I started it up Tuesday night in the Kroger parking lot after doing my weekly shopping. After staring vainly under the hood for a few moments (what did I think I was going to find? One of those trunk monkeys going crazy on my engine???) I took up an offer for a ride home an older gentleman offered me. I got my groceries put away, called my insurance company, finally getting a chance to use the roadside assistance towing I've paid $1/mo for and got my poor baby up to the mechanic I trust in Hillsboro Village.

Yesterday morning they broke the news to me. "It's dead, Jim."--- or in this case, Lu. I promptly got a case of adrenaline-itis. That is, I got a rush of energy that resulted in not only securing a pre-approved loan from my bank, but also in further researching several cars I've considered buying for some time, to cleaning my kitchen from top to bottom. Yes, I was a cleaning machine! I was in the process of starting on the bathroom when the adrenaline finally ran out and I crashed on the couch for a couple of hours.

Since then I'm bumming rides from co-workers and my wonderful (have I mentioned lately I looooove living here) landlady/friend, Donna, to get to and from work. And I'm researching cars like mad.

I'm looking at used and new. There are pluses and minuses to every car I've looked at, which, I guess, is true with just about everything in life. You get more in one area, but sacrifice something in another in return.

I'm living with a constant state of nervousness. I want with all my heart to make the best choice I can, but no matter which way I go I'm spending money I don't have. I hate debt. I hate it with a passion. But there are just some things I believe are worth going into debt for. A good, reliable car is one of them.

In spite of the nerves, I'm convinced God protected me and will provide. My car died in the safest of places: a parking lot. Not on the freeway late at night, or in the Appalachians where it would have cost a fortune to tow it anywhere. Not even on city streets full of traffic and tired drivers frustrated at another obstacle between them and home or work.

And while I'm not financially in the "perfect" place I wanted to be at the point I bought a new car ---honestly, I'm not sure I'd ever have gotten to that "perfect" place. I have a tendency to move the goal posts on myself--- I do have enough to put a good chunk of change on a down payment.

He provided this last car at just the time I needed. It got me all around LA during the most difficult time in my life, took me across the country and then back and forth between South Carolina and Nashville quite a few times. I named him Col. Jack O'Neill, after the character of the same name from the Stargate SG-1 tv series. The O'Neill of the series, played by Ricky Dean Anderson, was a cranky, irascible, but completely lovable "old" man who hated being ordered around, never did as he was told and complained a lot while doing stuff. That was my car. irascible, but completely lovable; obstinate, cranky and old. But I loved him a whole lot. God gave him to me and I never forgot His generosity -- nor the generosity of my friends, David and Gina, who so graciously lent the Colonel to me for my first four months back in the States, then sold him to me a couple of months later.

God will provide this time. He already has. I just want to make a choice here that will honor God with the money He's provided. Please Pray that I do just that.

Say Goodnight, Gracie.
Goodnight Gracie.

Baby Steps

I went to small group/home group "host" (read: leader) training this morning at my church, The People's Church. My stomach has been tied in knots ever since.

The thought of stepping back into leadership, however "easy" and "short" it may be, scares me more than I thought it would. The commitment is different than it is at Mosaic. Life Group leaders back home are usually identified by other leaders and apprenticed for a while before the group multiplies and the new leaders take the second group. Its a process you go through and prepare months for. And it's a commitment of usually at least a year -- if not longer.

At TPC, hosts can sign up without having been a part of a group. They just feel led to open their homes to people. And the commitment starts as a 7 week trial deal. Try it, see how the group fits, how you fit. Then go from there. If the group fizzles, no pressure, no worries. It just wasn't meant to be a long one. You can try again. Or join another group already established.

The training was much simpler and more direct as well. Of course, anyone who's had any contact with Mosaic knows that anything is more direct and simple than Mosaic. Not that things are difficult at Mosaic. Its just that the leadership is so very esoteric; they're deep thinkers. Even years ago, when Bro. Tom and Carol were casting the vision. So the training is much more about the concepts and philosophies, not the practical how-tos of creating a basic, doable life group meeting.

So why does this all scare me? I think its because I've been thrown off this horse twice, no, three, times now and the idea of getting back on brings back unpleasant memories.

Leading is hard. No matter how short it is. No matter how "easy" those above you make it. It takes work. It takes sacrifice. It takes a piece of me. It always takes a piece of me. And that leaves me raw.

So why am I doing this? I don't know. I just have felt since I moved into my new place that I needed to do this. And maybe even wanted to do it. I don't know why I want to... I just do... Is that weird?  Then last Sunday the announcement was made that they were looking for leaders for this particular series, lasting 7 weeks. And before I could really think about what I was doing, how I was committing myself once again, I'd filled out the information card and put it in the collection bag.

I could give you some of the reasons swimming in my head. I want to meet new people. I want to make some friends. Small group is the best way to do that. I have a nice little place where people can meet, so why not open it to a group? And its not so much "leading" as it is "facilitating". Or so they said this morning.

Honestly, all those reasons are good. And true. But this afternoon as I drove home from the training I finally discovered the true reason I'm taking this baby step out of my nicely padded comfort zone I've been making for myself since I left Mosaic Nashville's "team": I'm doing it for God. But not in that holy, spiritual way. It's like a little kid that pulls the paints out and makes a mess on the living room floor. I just want to make a pretty picture for my Dad. If He hangs it on the frig, all the better. But ultimately, it's for Him.

When did I move from doing things because I was supposed to or expected to, or because I wanted others to know the love and intimacy I have with Jesus, to just wanting to paint a pretty picture for my Dad, just dance a crazy dance for my Beloved?