Jesus realized at once that healing power had gone out from him, so he turned around in the crowd and asked,“Who touched my robe?”
His disciples said to him, “Look at this crowd pressing around you. How can you ask, ‘Who touched me?’”
But he kept on looking around to see who had done it.
Then the frightened woman, trembling at the realization of what had happened to her, came and fell to her knees in front of him and told him what she had done.
And he said to her, “Daughter, your faith has made you well. Go in peace. Your suffering is over.” -- vs 25 - 34
There's a saying: "act your way into feeling." For the longest time I didn't understand that phrase. I thought it encouraged deceit. Over the last year I've begun to truly apprehend what it means; I think I get it now.
I may not always feel forgiven; I may not always feel free from shame. But that doesn't change the fact that I am. I touched the hem of His garment and I have been made whole. That is the Truth that God speaks. I am free. So in those times that the feeling isn't there, when my emotions belie the Truth of who God says I am, I still need to act "as if" -- as if I felt it, as if I am convinced in the depths of my soul it is True. Because the fact is, it is.
I can choose whose voice I listen to; I can choose what I will believe. I never knew that before this year. I don't have to remain covered, buried, in the shame that has so enveloped me all my life just because I feel shame at this moment. I can choose to believe something different; choose to do something different.
So today I am. Right now I will. I will believe the Truth even though I don't feel it. I will act my way into feeling.
These Nicole C. Mullins songs have been on my iPod since I got back from Women of Faith last month. God used them to speak His love and infinite grace to me. They truly tell the story of my life; my shame-filled yet blessed-beyond-measure Life. And God continues to use them as reminders of the Truth of who I am in His eyes; and encourage me to keep acting my way into feeling. I thought I'd pass them along to you today, in case you need encouragement too.
I Know My Redeemer Lives
Call On Jesus