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July 11, 2007


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Emily Hunter McGowin


I love your blog. I didn't realize there were a number of women out there doing this, too. I'm so glad my message ministered to you. I've had my own "crisis of womanhood" in the past four years, but I've reached a place of contentment with my unique "brand" of femininity. I have a number of women friends who are on that road too. Thanks for sharing a bit of your journey.

Grace and peace (to be who God made you),



Last year I read Donald Millar's book about masculinity - well, ostensibly it's about growing up as a guy without a dad and learning to let God 'father' him and teach him to be a man. It's quite a good book, though not as charmingly/annoyingly self-involved as Blue Like Jazz.

I think my favorite part is where he is speaking to a group of boys about how to be a 'real man.' How do you know if you are really a man? John Eldridge suggests real men ride wild horses and go on quests and also know how to cry and love a woman. Promise Keepers has all this stuff about about being the leader in your home, and so on.

A guy could come away from that - not to mention from the larger culture / media scene - feeling like a real loser, because he's not brave and strong and musclebound or a husband and father or an elder in your church or a hit with the ladies or whatever.

What does it really mean to be a man?

Donald Miller says you are a real man if you have a penis. That's right. God has spoken. You are a man, and nobody can tell you you aren't.

I think he's onto something, and for us as women too. Your chromosomes, Lu, say that you are one of us! It's not about flowers and dresses and teacups and sugar and spice and everything nice.

You are woman: God has spoken.


Marti - thank you! Cool stuff... I have a friend in LA who often struggles with the whole "Wild At Heart" thing as well. There used to be these men's retreats at Mosaic, I can't remember now what they were called but something very manly, but my friend said he often felt out of place because he didn't see himself as that macho warrior guy that the underlying message of the weekend defined all men as. Anyway, yeah, I've read a few books on womanhood and found them to be sorely lacking - at least in defining me or making me feel better about being a woman.

Emily - Thank you so much for your comment. I got up this morning and felt silly for posting this and decided I'd just pull it down. Then I checked my email and saw your comment. Thank you.

Drop by often. Yes, there are many of us out here in blogville. It's a wonderful sisterhood to belong to.


the mosaic men's retreat is called highlander.

i love you lu.


Niza - I love you too!


So my 'special friend' or whatever he is now, Tom, is taking his two kids on a 'King's Kids' trip in a certain large Asian country this summer. And their outreach has a 'Celtic' theme, Tom just found out. Upshot is my big Aussie friend has to go around wearing a kilt this summer, and so does his all-boy 10-year-old son. They aren't too excited about it! But... real highlanders ought to be able to wear skirts and know they are still men ; - )

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