Missionary, church planter, and Daughter of the King; learning to live in the light of the love and grace of Jesus
When my mom died in 2003 it felt like the end of the world. Not just because she had died; not just because my dad had died six days earlier. But because my dreams had died during the year prior, while I was overseas serving as an "M" (an overseas worker, or Missionary; whichever you prefer) on a very dysfunctional team. And now I wanted to die too. I begged God for many, many months -- three years actually -- to let me come Home; to just let me die peacefully in my sleep during the night. I was so done with life and with this world.
But every morning I would still wake up, and the sun would still be shining. So I would cry out to God to help me get through another day. Every day God would stay by my side, making His presence powerfully known, whispering His love to me. "I'm here. And I love you." "You are Mine. And no one can take you from My hand." "I will never leave you. I am here." He still whispers these "sweet nothings" in my ear every day.
It was a long, hard road but here I am; here I stand. Full of hope and joy and closer to my Amazing God, my Beloved, than I ever have been before. I have known Love like no other ever has, for I am Loved like no other could ever imagine.
Life is still hard at times. Moving from co-dependency and fear to trust and freedom is not at all easy. But each day I break another link in a chain of a life-time of bondage and strongholds. And each day I rediscover how sweet it is to just abide in the amazing, drenching love and grace of God. I am blessed beyond measure.
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I prefer Jesus
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